On July 23, 2011 my former best friend (aka American Express Platinum Card) turned against me. After 3 years of a comfortable $1,500-ish minimum payment, suddenly Platinum was requesting $7,975.47 of the outstanding $40,028.05 (that we'd thoroughly enjoyed spending I might add!) by August 16.
I drive a BMW, I wear a Rolex, I carry a Dior wallet inside a Balenciaga bag (nothing but the best to hold my dearest Platinum) but I make PAYMENTS. I don't have savings or investments or $7,975,47 in "disposable" income each month. I thought Platinum knew that? So I had to wonder if perhaps this was just a ploy all along? Perhaps Platinum secretly knew I was addicted to consumption and status symbols? Perhaps Platinum was really just stringing me along, staying "Approved" and laying in wait for me to charge $8,420.22 to an already sizable balance so Platinum could pounce? Hitting me with a massive monthly minimum in the hope I wouldn't be able to make it. Then Platinum could really have it's way with me - hitting me with a late payment fee when I couldn't cover the whole amount, thereby justifying skyrocketing my interest rate and really making me "one of our most valuable Platinum cardholders".
Well I'm sorry Platinum but you're not going to win this one. I'm going to be shittiest Platinum cardholder there is because I'm not going to be your slave anymore. You're being replaced in my Dior wallet with something much more valuable: a small amount of cash that won't offer me unlimited credit or Rewards First points and that won't get me access to the Admiral's Club. But, a small amount of cash that will buy my groceries, gas my fleeced (oops - I mean leased) BMW and actually pay for all the other simple needs in my life until I can rejoice in owing you $0.00.
This is not an original story. I have a plan, and I'll stick to it.