Checking out my credit card balance on the American Express website is very painless. It's easy to ignore the high numbers owed when it's such an exclusive, slick looking interface. It reminds me how special I am and that I have access to tropical beaches and premiere entertainment and Membership Rewards First.... Plus it reminds me in giant letters that I can SHOP!!!! A couple of painless clicks to pay the minimum and I even get a "thank you".
The thing to do though is look past the pretty webpage and click the PDF that is the real billing statement. That PDF is not pretty at all. There's nothing exclusive about the front and center black type informing me that it will take 36-years and $74,412 to clear the balance if I keep making only the minumum payments.
Page 5 is where it gets really slick... I've paid $2,878.43 just in interest so far in 2011 - WTF!! That is almost a full month's rent! All for privilege of owing money! Don't even get me started on the helpful "APR Information". Wow, American Excess really is not my friend.
It occurs to me we need a return to the scary looking statements dropping through the mailbox once a month and wean off the pretty website or fancy iPhone app. The reality of debt shouldn't come with a nice font and a reminder to shop.
Showing posts with label AMEX. Show all posts
Showing posts with label AMEX. Show all posts
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Sunday, August 28, 2011
($40,028.05)
On July 23, 2011 my former best friend (aka American Express Platinum Card) turned against me. After 3 years of a comfortable $1,500-ish minimum payment, suddenly Platinum was requesting $7,975.47 of the outstanding $40,028.05 (that we'd thoroughly enjoyed spending I might add!) by August 16.
I drive a BMW, I wear a Rolex, I carry a Dior wallet inside a Balenciaga bag (nothing but the best to hold my dearest Platinum) but I make PAYMENTS. I don't have savings or investments or $7,975,47 in "disposable" income each month. I thought Platinum knew that? So I had to wonder if perhaps this was just a ploy all along? Perhaps Platinum secretly knew I was addicted to consumption and status symbols? Perhaps Platinum was really just stringing me along, staying "Approved" and laying in wait for me to charge $8,420.22 to an already sizable balance so Platinum could pounce? Hitting me with a massive monthly minimum in the hope I wouldn't be able to make it. Then Platinum could really have it's way with me - hitting me with a late payment fee when I couldn't cover the whole amount, thereby justifying skyrocketing my interest rate and really making me "one of our most valuable Platinum cardholders".
Well I'm sorry Platinum but you're not going to win this one. I'm going to be shittiest Platinum cardholder there is because I'm not going to be your slave anymore. You're being replaced in my Dior wallet with something much more valuable: a small amount of cash that won't offer me unlimited credit or Rewards First points and that won't get me access to the Admiral's Club. But, a small amount of cash that will buy my groceries, gas my fleeced (oops - I mean leased) BMW and actually pay for all the other simple needs in my life until I can rejoice in owing you $0.00.
This is not an original story. I have a plan, and I'll stick to it.
I drive a BMW, I wear a Rolex, I carry a Dior wallet inside a Balenciaga bag (nothing but the best to hold my dearest Platinum) but I make PAYMENTS. I don't have savings or investments or $7,975,47 in "disposable" income each month. I thought Platinum knew that? So I had to wonder if perhaps this was just a ploy all along? Perhaps Platinum secretly knew I was addicted to consumption and status symbols? Perhaps Platinum was really just stringing me along, staying "Approved" and laying in wait for me to charge $8,420.22 to an already sizable balance so Platinum could pounce? Hitting me with a massive monthly minimum in the hope I wouldn't be able to make it. Then Platinum could really have it's way with me - hitting me with a late payment fee when I couldn't cover the whole amount, thereby justifying skyrocketing my interest rate and really making me "one of our most valuable Platinum cardholders".
Well I'm sorry Platinum but you're not going to win this one. I'm going to be shittiest Platinum cardholder there is because I'm not going to be your slave anymore. You're being replaced in my Dior wallet with something much more valuable: a small amount of cash that won't offer me unlimited credit or Rewards First points and that won't get me access to the Admiral's Club. But, a small amount of cash that will buy my groceries, gas my fleeced (oops - I mean leased) BMW and actually pay for all the other simple needs in my life until I can rejoice in owing you $0.00.
This is not an original story. I have a plan, and I'll stick to it.
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